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4. Maintain the moral high ground. A close cousin to the point directly above. You’re management. You’re the voice of reason. Don’t lose control or pull rank or cede the moral high ground – calm control is a much more advantageous position to manage and negotiate from. Partner with HR. When I was in management, my colleagues in Human Resources were of inestimable value to me on many occasions. I never hesitated to call on them when I faced difficult employee conflicts. They were unfailingly an objective third party, a sounding board, a valuable source of reasonable counsel. My philosophy was always: In delicate situations, get all the help you can. Document meticulously. When serious conflict occurs, as a manager you’ll need accurate records of it. During employee performance appraisals, you’ll need clear documentation to avoid discussions dissolving into “he said/she said” disputes. And when it’s necessary to terminate someone, you of course need detailed documentation (again, a time to work closely with HR) or you may well have legal exposure.
5. Don’t think in terms of “winning,” so much as constructively resolving. No point winning the battle but losing the war. Management’s role is not to “defeat the enemy”, but to elicit optimal performance from the area you’re managing. Accordingly, best not to leave bodies in your 23 wake but to get conflicts resolved fairly, expeditiously, and move forward as constructively as you can. Get closure and move ahead… the sooner, the better. I don’t want to give the illusion any of this is easy. It isn’t. It never is. But if you can develop a consistent, rational approach to managing conflict, it can make your difficult job a lot less stressful than it would be without it.